Dear Noah,
I write this letter by candlelight as you lie sleeping in the bedroom we have shared since the day we were married. And though I cant hear the soft sounds of your slumber, I know you are there and soon I will be lying next to you again as I always have. And I will feel your warmth and your comfort and your breaths will slowly guide me to the place where I dream of you and the wonderful man you are.
I see the flame of the candle beside me and it reminds me of another fire from decades ago, with me in my soft dress and you in your jeans, by the campfire at the river bank. Our first ever lovemaking. I knew we would always be together. Even though I wavered the following day my heart had been captured, roped by you my love and I always knew my heart was yours. Who was I to question a love that rode on shooting stars and roared like crashing waves? For that is what it was between us then and that is what it is today. You did not question me when I would leave and walk alone the next few days, and when I came with tears in my eyes you always knew whether I needed you to hold me or to just let me be. I don’t know how you knew but you did and you made it easier for me.
Later when we went to the attorney general’s chambers and signed the papers, traded our vows, I looked into your eyes and knew I had made the right decision. But more than that I knew I was foolish for ever considering someone else. I have never wavered since. We have a wonderful life together and I think about it a lot. I close my eyes sometimes and see you with speckles of gray in your hair, sitting on the porch and playing your guitar while our little ones sing and clap to the music you create. Your clothes are stained with dirt and sweat from hours of work and you are tired. And though I offer you time to relax, you smile and say, “that’s what am doing now,” I find your love for our children very sensual and exciting, “you are a better father than you know,” I tell you later after the children are sleeping.
Soon after, we peel off our clothes and kiss each other and almost loose ourselves before we are able to slip between the cotton sheets. We make love far into the night.
I love you for many things, especially your passions, for they have always been those things which are the most beautiful in life. God, love, art, fatherhood, friendship and countless others.
It is impossible to remember when you were not part of me. I think my life begun after I met you. I do not know who I would have become had you never come into my life. I have no doubt that I would have lived and died with regrets of not meeting the one, which is you.
I love you, I am who I am because of you. You are every reason every hope and every dream I have ever had and no matter what happens to us in future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours and my darling you will always be mine.
Love
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